Falling for Betrayal's Worse
by The Queen of Double Standards
Summary: Rin loved Aoki, truly loved her. But Aoki was just leading her on, playing with her heart, only to crush her in the end. There's only so much a heart can take before it shatters. RinxAoki twoshot
1. Falling for Betrayal's Worse

**Falling for Betrayal's Worse**

_Tell them all I know now  
><em>_Shout it from the rooftops  
><em>_Write it on the skyline  
><em>_All we had is gone now  
><em>_Tell them I was happy  
><em>_And my heart is broken  
><em>_All my scars are open  
><em>_Tell them what I hoped would be_

-Impossible by Shontelle

"Screw you, you bastard!" I hissed, my hands around his throat as I forced him against a locker. My hands tightened around his neck, not too severely but bad enough to make his face go blue as he dropped his books. "Why don't you just _die_?"

"Rin, stop it!" my younger sister exclaimed, grabbing onto my arm as I shook the violet-haired boy, crashing his head against the locker.

"Fuck you!" I yelled at the boy. "What the hell do you know, huh? What the hell makes you think I give a damn what you think?"

"Rin, please stop!" Yuki begged, clinging onto my arm and desperately trying to pull me off of the bastard.

"Get the hell off of him, Rin!" my best friend, Yukari, exclaimed, grabbing me and easily pulling me away from the boy, who sunk immediately to the ground and gasped for air, his eyes bulging from their sockets.

"He should _die_!" I exclaimed, struggling to get toward him as my next closest friend, Lily, grabbed onto me. "I hate him, I hate them all! They should all just go and _die_!"

"Fuck you, you little creep," Gakupo, my victim, gasped, glaring at me as he attempted to swallow all the air he could, flocked by everyone else in the hallway. They didn't know my side of the story. They didn't care. "Why don't you just get the hell out of our school? No one wants you here, anyway."

"Like I fucking want to be here!" I spat. My parents refused to let me change schools. That had to be the worst choice they'd ever made. "You really think I'd be here with you bloody bastards if I had a choice?"

"Please, Rin," Miku, Gakupo's girlfriend, who crouched beside him, snorted. I turned my vicious gaze onto hers, but I felt myself weakening. "We all know you're still here because Aoki's here."

I knew very well that she was just trying to provoke me. That didn't stop me from trying to free myself from Yukari and Lily's grips to rip the girl's pretty little head off. She was such a smug little brat. She smirked at me even now.

"Just die, why don't you?" I snapped, but it was such a weak phrase when my two best friends held me back and as my younger sister clung to me, begging me to stop.

"Rin, calm down."

I froze at that voice. I stopped struggling instantly, but the grips on me only grew tighter as I turned to face the blue-and-violet-haired girl. Aoki Lapis stood before me, a vaguely irritated look in her eyes as she gazed at me with disdain. With one sharp movement, I shook my friends off, but I made no move to step toward Aoki. Instead, I merely stared at her, just as she stared at me, those gentle eyes of her that once were so warm now ice cold, ordering me to stop. That girl who I loved once, who I still loved, stood before me, but the only thing I could feel was hatred.

"Did you even tell them everything?" I hissed, staring at her. "Did you tell them about you and how you felt about it?"

Aoki rolled her eyes and informed me, "I never felt anything, Rin. I explained that to you already." She stared at me icily. "I just wanted everyone to see what a sick little girl you are." She looked down at my younger sister and smirked. "Especially her. She deserves to know how horrid her big sister is."

"Rin's not horrid!" Yuki exclaimed defensively, but her words meant nothing to me. Aoki's were the only ones that mattered, and I saw that she saw me just as everyone else did. Would I have to deal with this forever?

"Screw you," I muttered, but it was so weak in comparison to my earlier shouting that Aoki merely laughter.

"Aren't you going to tell me to die?" she taunted, narrowing her eyes slyly at me. "Or is that impossible since you love me?"

I was glad my hair-clips that normally brushed my bangs to one side had fallen out when I'd attacked Gakupo. The bangs falling before my gaze hid teary eyes. Without another word, I whipped around and began to storm away. Then, I stopped and said to Aoki, "Are you happy now, Aoki? You win. Just leave me alone from now on."

"And render all my hard work useless?" Aoki gasped, mocking me. I was so glad she couldn't see my face, because her next words tore my heart to pieces, and the tears dripped down my face. "Now now, Rin dear, that's simply not fair. Don't you realize how much suffering I had to go through to get here?"

Yukari, Lily, and Yuki all begged me to wait up as they followed me. But I dashed out of the school too quickly. They couldn't keep up with me. I ducked behind a corner and watched them run by me, searching for me and calling out my name. I wiped ever-flowing tears and my running nose with my sweater sleeve, curling up into a ball and rocking back and forth as I cried. It wasn't fair. I loved her. I truly loved her.

Six months ago, Aoki had asked me out. Me, who'd yet to admit to anyone that I was a lesbian. She'd been so kind, so sweet. I'd never dated anyone before. I didn't know there'd ever be someone, another girl, who could love me. So I said yes.

And I fell for her. Slowly, steadily, I fell. We kept our relationship a secret, but she showered me with so much love. I truly believed that she loved me, too, but she didn't. She was just doing it to get a laugh, because Miku had told her to. It was a way to become popular. She told her friends everything we ever did, everything we ever said. Even the first time I told her I loved her.

And then, finally, she'd let me in on her little game, leaving me defenseless, alone, to deal with it all. Left alone to deal with her friends harassing me every day. Left alone to deal with the fact that my little sister might find out and hate me. Left alone to realize that no one had ever truly loved me like I'd believed.

Left alone to realize Aoki had never loved me.

. . .

A voice purred in my ear, slipping her arms around my stomach, her hands gripping the edge of my shirt. "Heya, Rin." I closed my eyes and braced myself, bearing with it. I could feel everyone watching as Seeu wrapped herself around me. "I was just wondering, do all girls turn you on or is it just Aoki?"

"Screw off, Seeu," I snapped, my hands clenching into fists as I kept my eyes firmly shut.

"So just Aoki then?" Seeu murmured seductively. Her breath was warm against my ear, but I didn't care. "Are you sure you're not interested?"

"Fuck you," I spat, refusing to look at her for fear it would make me lose my cool. "Just go back to Aoki, okay? I know she told you to do this."

"She did nothing of the kind, and she doesn't have to know." Seeu's hands were under my shirt, slowly making their way upward. Only then did I step abruptly away from her and turn my hate-filled gaze onto her. She laughed and wondered, "What's wrong, Rin? I'm just trying to be nice. You must be heartbroken now that Aoki's abandoned you."

"Calm yourself, Seeu," Aoki said coolly, all the way on the other side of the classroom, absently working on her homework.

I wasn't sure what it was that really set me off. Whether it was Aoki's complete disinterest in what Seeu did to me or Seeu's mocking flirtation or the fact that it was obvious that the entire class had witnessed her teasing, I couldn't be sure. What I did know was that I'd had enough.

"Are you done embarrassing me yet?" I snapped at Aoki. She looked up at me with an almost bored expression, which only fueled the fire. "Don't you give a damn about what you've done? Do you realize how completely _cruel_ you are? Do you realize that I actually _believed_ in you?"

I swung my arms out toward the entire class and, eyes burning with heartbreak and hatred, "What about everyone else, huh? Why don't you tell _everyone_ what you did? Why don't you tell them that you lulled me into that false sense of security just to tear me apart? Tell them what I know now: tell them that you're a liar, a manipulative, greedy bitch who used me to gain acceptance in Miku's group!"

I shook my head violently, sending my tears flying everywhere. "Why don't you tell them how happy you made me just so that you could crush me later? Why don't you tell them how you made me feel so important, so loved, just so that you could leave me heartbroken? Why don't you tell everyone that you dated me for six months with the sole purpose of breaking my heart?"

My anger was draining as the sobs came, but I still stared at the apathetic girl and wondered, "Did you know how happy I was? Did you know how much it would tear me apart when you told me the truth?"

And then, slowly, Aoki closed her book. Eyes delicately shut, she pushed her chair back and stood up. She gently made her way over to me until she stood before me. She then stared me straight in the eye, and she wondered, "Did you know that I really don't give a damn about you whatsoever?"

And did she know that, immediately after that, I'd go home, take a vial of pills from the medicine cabinet, swallow the entire thing, and be found later by my little sister when she returned home from school?

**Author's Note: And this is what happens when I am overloaded with fluff work for Valentine's Day. Whatever. Oh, right, I don't capitalize the U in Seeu for stylistic purposes. For example, I'd call her SeeU as a stage name, but, if it's just her as a person, I say Seeu.**


	2. You Watch Me Bleed

**Author's Note: For Mipiko**

**You Watch Me Bleed**

_It will all be over  
><em>_And here we are  
><em>_We'll die inside this salted earth together  
><em>_You'll pierce my lungs  
><em>_My limbs go numb  
><em>_As my colours fade out  
><em>_You watch me bleed_

-Watch Me Bleed by Scary Kids Scaring Kids

I placed the dishes before her as she sat at my kitchen table and smiled for me. With that adoring face, she said, "Thanks, Ao-chan."

"You make it seem like I've done something fantastic," I murmured as I turned and began walking back into the kitchen. I heard her chair scrape the floor as she stood and wrapped her arms around my stomach, encircling me from behind.

"You're gloomy today," she stated bluntly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed in her scent for a moment before murmuring, "That's because I won't lie today." And with that, her scent vanished, and the arms around my stomach were gone. I let my eyes open once more and gazed back to her, but she was gone. I felt dread sinking heavily in my stomach as I looked at the plate of untouched food.

. . .

"Aoki, you look much cuter without the sweater," Miku insisted as I took a seat beside her. That was her way of telling me not to wear it anymore, because she was wearing it so no one else was allowed to. Was this really all my life was? I shed the sweater silently, keeping my eyes fallen to the food. "See, I told you! So much cuter, right, Gakkun?"

"She's right you know." Gakupo's voice mingled with Rin's as I kept my eyes locked on my lunch, pushing the portion of rice around with my chopsticks. I could feel those eyes on me, disgusted by my terrible use of cutlery.

"Mm," I mumbled without commitment, offering no proper response as I gazed down on the lunch before me. I wanted nothing to do with them. They were my accomplices in Rin's . . . .

It was silent for a little while except for Miku's irritable chatter. Seeu kept Gakupo entertained for me, though I doubt she did it on purpose. Gakupo was Miku's boyfriend, but Seeu didn't care. She was sick enough to flirt with Rin, even if it was just to make a joke. Seeu was just as twisted as Rin was, only she was twisted in a different way.

"Ao-chan, can we go to the roof? Lunch was always more fun up there."

I summoned the strength to look up at Rin before whispering as quietly as I could to her, "I refuse to lie today. You're not here, and you never will be again." And then, with her smile, she was gone.

"What?" Miku asked, glancing at me curiously. Seeu and Gakupo looked to me, too, and it was too much. I hated them so much. It was their fault I'd done it, forced myself to do something so sick on so many levels. I pushed myself up from the table.

"I just remembered that I have a project I forgot to hand in," I mumbled, though that was a lie. Maybe if I was alone, if I went to the roof, I could pretend Rin was there. We'd eaten there all the time when I'd pretended to love her, and I couldn't say it wasn't fun. If I could have been friends with Rin, not lovers, perhaps things could have been different, but thinking of that horrible attraction she had toward me made me sick to my stomach.

Perhaps they noticed that something was wrong with me, Gakupo, Seeu, and Miku did, but, in any case, they never said anything about it. Did they care at all that Rin was dead? I wondered sometimes. They'd never showed any remorse and had even scorned me for attending both wakes and the funeral. As I walked away now, I could feel them watching me. I felt I should care, but I was much too numb to do so.

The hallways were full of ignorant people and eccentric fools all going on with life as though nothing had happened. Was one month really all it took to forget about someone? She was still their classmate, no matter how sick she was. Maybe I should have helped her get better. I was certain there was a cure for it. It was a disease, after all. A disease, that was all it was.

I was too distracted to notice my pathway being blocked until I stepped right into someone. I didn't realize until then that I was staring at my feet, either, and I was forced to jerk my chin all the way up to stare at the tic I'd stumbled upon. I blinked up at Lily with a near bored expression, feeling nothing toward that girl. I still wondered if she knew about her friend's sick little habits. I was certain Yukari must have since she and Rin had always been friends, right from the crib.

"May I get by?" I questioned, no irritation slipping into my voice even though it did quiver gently along my skin. The blue eyes staring down at mine betrayed the utter hatred she felt toward me, and I couldn't much blame her. I'd hate me, too. I truly did, a little. The fact that I'd fooled myself into believing Rin was still alive on those hours afterschool when I was alone in my home proved it. I hated that she was dead. I hated myself for killing her. She'd trusted me. I'd never known that betraying her would push her to such extents.

"You really are just a piece of crap, aren't you?" growled Lily, stepping aside all the same. I didn't bother looking at her again as I brushed between her and Yukari. The grief radiating from Yukari was near suffocating. I forced my shoulders not to grow tense as it shimmered through the air, following me as her gaze followed the rise and fall of my shoulders as I walked. Would anyone say what Lily had to someone if the same had happened to me? Rin would have, certainly. She would have done anything for me. And I killed her.

Aside from Rin, would anyone have even cared? Even now, would anyone care? Miku, Gakupo, and Seeu were all fine without me. Who else did I have? I'd devoted myself to Rin before that, but she wasn't here anymore. I almost wanted to play pretend again in that moment, pretend that there'd be someone to care if I died. What was the point of dying if no one would remember you? Rin's little sister would remember her the most, I supposed, since she'd been the one to find Rin. And me? Aside from Rin, there was no one who truly cared for me in my life. My parents had abandoned me long ago after my father had been infected by the same disease that ran in Rin's blood.

I stepped up the stairwell, delicately placing each foot before the other. I was forced to stop at the top before a locked door. I dug through the bag carrying my lunch to find the key and turned the lock. The roof was cold, ice cold. It was winter now, and the flooring was coated with snow. The railing was frozen stiff. I thought of a time when Rin had laughed and asked if I'd ever tried licking a frozen pole. I'd embarrassedly shared an experience in the past to that respect, and she'd shared one of her own. Something so tiny had made her so happy.

I locked the door shut behind me and took a seat in the middle of the roof, my leggings offering no protection against the cold touch of snow, but I didn't care. I drew in a shuddering breath and whispered, "I'm okay with lying, Rin. Please come back to me."

She smiled at me and, with a curious laugh, wondered, "What are you talking about, Ao-chan? You're so weird. What's for lunch?"

It felt too wrong. I didn't deserve to pretend that she was there. It was my horrible acts that had killed her. I shouldn't have been given the right to imagine her so vividly. I gazed listlessly down at the lunch and grabbed the extra item I'd packed the morning. With the glint of silver, I grabbed the kitchen knife by the blade and held the handle toward her.

"Kill me."

Her eyes widened in horror as she stared at me. Then, she shook her head viciously and stammered, "What are you talking about, Ao-chan?"

I didn't allow any room for question in the tone of my voice, absolutely certain. "Kill me. Pierce my lungs, my heart, anything. Just kill me."

"I can't do that, Ao-chan! What in the world is going on?"

I glanced away from her, my hand falling a little. Then, quietly, I questioned, "Can I at least die with you?"

She blinked in shock then, quietly, wondered, "What's wrong with you, Ao-chan?"

I looked back up at her. Even if it wasn't really her, right now, I needed to believe that it was. So I told her, "I can't live knowing what I did to you. Please, can't you at least die with me? Then you'll know how much you mean to me, and you can die with a smile, instead of . . . ."

"_Did you know that I really don't give a damn about you whatsoever?"_

I'd said such horrible things to her.

"Please die with me," I begged, looking at her desperately.

She blinked at me once more, and then she smiled. "You want me to die with a smile?"

"Please," I begged, squeezing my eyes shut as my heart ached. My eyes stayed shut as I felt her hand on mine, guiding me to my feet. I opened my eyes to stare desperately at her smile as she guided me to the edge of the building. She clambered over the railing, and I ducked under, so that we stood on only a little piece of roof. I gripped tightly to the frozen pole, my heart beginning to race. No. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. I flashed my gaze to Rin, but she was smiling. We could die together now. As this pain and regret could be gone. She could die with a smile, right? I wouldn't have to worry about having killed her, because we would have died together.

"I'm smiling, Ao-chan," she whispered so sweetly.

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die.

"_Did you know how happy I was? Did you know how much it would tear me apart when you told me the truth?"_

Did she really want to die? Was my betrayal truly so terrible that she'd curse herself to this? If so, it was my fault, so I was responsible in sharing her fate.

I closed my eyes once more, drew in a shuddering breath, and took that last step over the edge. For that first heartbeat, I felt so sick as the earth came racing toward me. The next, I felt so free, liberated from this horrible torture as I flew among the birds. With the next came regret as I realized that Rin wasn't beside me anymore, that she'd never been there, that she could never die with a smile. Then came the impact, a moment of release that was so horrifyingly painful and yet so welcomed that the cracks through my body sizzling with the last shreds of emotion I owned didn't seem so horrible.

She'd abandoned me in those last moments of my fall, reminding me that I was completely alone in this world. I understood completely how my betrayal had done this to her. Of all the pain I'd felt up to that moment, that betrayal was the worst.


End file.
